is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
