It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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