apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
