I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
