I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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