How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i've created a new STD.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
