mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
vagina is talking i cant
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Your penis caused this!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
