Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
