Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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