do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
