I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
