I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
