You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
