I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i dont even know how to be here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
