just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
