There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
