i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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