I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
