what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
