Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
