We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Even my vagina gasped.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
