You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just had sex on a roof
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
