The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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