your thong is hanging out like whoa
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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