I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I love having hate sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
