im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
