I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
