im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
