Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
