shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
