WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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