Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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