How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
