why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
