yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
