my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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