Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
