I feel great
I just peed on a car
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
