i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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