thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
