this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
