Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
