chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
