By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
