Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
