You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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