So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
