u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
