Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
