We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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