Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
