he thought i was a dude.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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