I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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